Internal Family Systems Therapy and the LGBTQIA+ Community
This blog post is written by Wilder Wellness therapist, Emma Larson, LPCA. Click here to learn more about working with Emma.
As a counselor who works with the Queer and Trans community (and a member of the community myself), I have found that using Internal Family Systems therapy can be incredibly liberating and affirming to those in the LGBTQIA+ community who are feeling shame, anxiety, and grief.
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems Therapy, also known simply as IFS, is a therapy style that aims to look at a person as a system of “parts". The Pixar movie “Inside Out” is an example of how we can think of our parts: each part has a job in the “system” and is trying their best to take care of the larger self. Some of our parts aim to keep us safe from harm. Some parts push us to grow. Some parts are screaming at us to run and hide. When we are disconnected from our parts we can often have thoughts like “Something is wrong with me…”, “If only I was…”, “I don’t understand why I am feeling this way…”. The goal of IFS is to help individuals better understand all their parts, become more compassionate to themselves, and build a deeper connection to their sense of self and personal values.
How Can IFS Be Useful to the LGBTQIA+ Community?
Many people in the LGBTQIA+ community experience pain, confusion, and trauma due to transphobic and/or homophobic beliefs of family members, communities, or society at large. This trauma can leave us feeling even more confused about the different parts of ourselves and far away from connection to our true selves. Our sexual and gender identities are shaped by a wide range of intersecting forces, and our inner world reflects this complexity. These forces may include culture, religion, family, disability, privilege (or lack thereof), race, body size, gender, and so on. When we have been “othered” due to our identities, we can often internalize these systems of oppression and carry parts of ourselves that feel unsafe or unwelcome. This is where IFS comes in.
Here are some ways IFS can help those in the LGBTQIA+ community:
Affirm the multitudes of yourself: IFS is based on the idea that we all have multiple "parts" of ourselves and affirms the fluidity that is often embraced in the Queer and Trans community. IFS aims to expand our complexities, so exploration of sexuality and gender have room to flourish.
Connect with neglected parts: IFS allows us to reconnect with parts of ourselves that may have been hidden, ignored, or exiled in order to survive. IFS helps us approach these exiled parts of love and safety, which we may not have experienced in oppressive or non-affirming spaces.
Heal internalized systems of oppression: Many of our parts still hold homophobic, transphobic, racist, or ableist beliefs even if they no longer align with those beliefs. IFS helps us identify the parts that may have absorbed these messages and explore how we can dismantle those systems of oppression from the inside out.
Honors our wisdom: IFS does not view our sexual orientation or gender identity as something to be fixed or pathologized, but instead honors the internal wisdom and experience we all carry.